@GuyThe_Guy: Maybe zombies just have shampoo in their eyes.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance.
@Social_Mime: Me - That's the second First Baptist Church I've seen today. Wife - OK? M - One of them is lying. W - You can't ever shut it off can you?
@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.
@LogicLaughs: That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror.