@GuyThe_Guy: Maybe zombies just have shampoo in their eyes.
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@Skullcat: My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes
@DanMentos: [Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] "Ok all you guys need is a name" *they look around bank for ideas*
@dyldonot: my girlfriend went to slip into something more comfortable six months ago which makes me wonder how comfortable you can possibly be
@CrashTestDrummy: A Jehovah's Witness followed me. I think I'll send him a lot of unsolicited DMs with knock-knock jokes...