@punmagnate: MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket
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@AnkCoupleTO: Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*
@Mike_Bianchi: Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend.
@IAmKatieOrr: I hope my childhood BFF forgot that silly pact we made at five to kill each other if we hadn't become ponies by 2015. She was really dark.