@lawblob: McDonalds actually does serve breakfast after 10:30 if u have a gun
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@Sickayduh: Good cop: You have the right to remain silent Girlfriend cop: What's wrong? Why are you being so quiet? Are you mad? I hate when you're lik
@kevinseccia: Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip "Syrian Refugee 1 and 2" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
@GrantTanaka: "You know the speed limit here, son?" 45 "You know how fast you were going?" 88 "So where you off to in such a hurry?" 1985
@WildeThingy: Gabriel "Really? That's how you want humans to reproduce?" God "Trust me. It will be hilarious."