@Gen22: McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on.
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@Kim_pulsive: I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again
@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae
@Kendragarden: I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, "Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat's meow."
@50NerdsofGrey: His tongue explored the hole, probing deeper and deeper until she just couldn't take it any more. 'Would you just eat your donut already?!?'