@Gen22: McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on.
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@bourgeoisalien: A skinny friend told me she's never hungry and just 'forgets to eat', so I drove her out to the woods and left her for dead. Is that wrong?
@FeverFlave: I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection.
@TheBoydP: Purgatory is like approaching a flashing stoplight. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinking and no one knows what to do.
@WildeThingy: Spider bucket list: 1. Eat flies 2. Don't get squashed by a crazy screaming lady when all I'm doing is eating flies 3. Meet Peter Parker