@KhrisWarhol: McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware.
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@BGH70: On average, it takes a person 7 minutes to fall asleep… 2.5, if Tammy from purchasing is telling you about her weekend.
@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!
@Jesssicle: My boyfriend said that I'm more than enough woman for him, and now I'm mad because I think he called me fat.