@UnethicalGnius: McDonalds could burn to the ground and I bet the fries would still be cold
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@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"
@RamblingMachine: If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need.
@bourgeoisalien: No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother
@Black__Elvis: Hey baby, is your father a thief because he stole the stars and he put them in your eyes and also my TV is missing.