@UnethicalGnius: McDonalds could burn to the ground and I bet the fries would still be cold
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@AndrewChamings: [first day as a celebrity chef] *Just a heartrending 40 minute montage of me struggling to get the potato masher out of the cutlery drawer*
@sirmunchie: My GF arrives in town next week. I'm so excited! I just hope that all the tension w/ Russia doesn't make U.S. immigration hold up the mail.
@SirEviscerate: [Coca-Cola focus group 1892] *everyone screams, throwing chairs through the window, trying to kill God* CHEMIST: maybe slightly less cocaine