@TheTweetOfGod: McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
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@SpacePlankton: Just accidentally flashed my gay neighbor. He's not gay anymore. HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. He totally threw up.
@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@Qckhd: Gets in shower Washes hair Thinks about a tweet Forgets if washed hair Washes hair Gets out of shower Forgets tweet