@TheTweetOfGod: McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
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@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):
@TravLeBlanc: "What would Jesus do?" is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See?
@moose_chocolate: Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be.