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…closing thigh gaps since 1967.
@lilgapeach30: I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends.
@KelleysBreakRm: When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me.
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@KeetPotato: me: "i don't appreciate being laughed at"
seaworld employee: "sir that's just the noise dolphins make"
@Robert_Beau: So I harvested my tomato today, it's bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.