@truegritrumble: ME: *as a surgeon* What's the worst that could happen? Your nose buzzes & we put all the pieces back & start over...Where are you going?
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@BatBatshitcrazy: My Rice Krispies were speaking in tongues this morning, so I'm pretty sure the end days are near.
@amore_orless: Social media's ruined everything. If I saw a dead body on my walk home my first thought would be to take a pic and caption it "Mood"
@whereami18: A close talker, a loud talker, and a cougher walked into an elevator to punish me for not hitting the close door button fast enough.