@davidkenny100: Me as the astronaut in that Martian movie:
"Day 1 I have enough food to last 459 days"
"Day 2 I now have enough food to last 170 days"
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@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.
@iamburtjarvis: riddler: check out aquaman's new tweet: "on my way to destroy the legion of doom with fam" lex luthor: you follow aquaman? LOL others: LOL
@WhitePplQuote: squad goals
@1followernodad: [at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left.
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