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@RCKruseKontrol: ME: babe i don't think the acid we dropped is working
GIANT BLUE OX: are you sure
@AnkCoupleTO: I tried hypnotizing my wife but *cluck* I think *cluck cluck* something went wrong is that *cluck cluck cluck* corn on the ground?
@3sunzzz: Me: All I want is for a man to bring me a rose-
Friend: Well, that's not asking much.
Me: colored diamond.
@ThePocketJustin: Avenge me but only if it's convenient.
@TheWidowmakerX: 'I choose my underwear based on how likely I am to have sex. Today, I'm wearing a used grocery bag I found floating across the highway'
@BoomBoomBetty: [hangs a sixth set of wind chimes along the property line]
That’s for blasting country music at your backyard party last weekend, Rick.