@slimmy_shady: Me: Can I get you a drink? Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: Lady, I'm the bartender.
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@Book_Krazy: Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing
@garrydavenport: When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices.