@slimmy_shady: Me: Can I get you a drink? Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: Lady, I'm the bartender.
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@TheSchnizzy: Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??
@david8hughes: A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin.
@JohnnyCrash5: Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times