@ghostkrogh: me (checkin out at grocery store with 2 rotisserie chickens): hold up *i grab my phone although it didn't ring* sure i'll get 1 more chicken
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@Jandalize: I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21.
@AndrewChamings: PEDIATRICIAN: This could sting a little. KID: Okay. PEDIATRICIAN: One day the sun will envelope the earth and we will all turn to dust.
@hazelmotes1: Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many.