@JosesLovesYou: Me: come here often?
Her: THIS IS MY BEDROOM IM CALLING THE COPS
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@bourgeoisalien: My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
@TommyWallace: Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but- Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what
@AngryBlkManDC: On this day 15 years ago my moms picked up the phone and interrupted a file at 96% I'd been downloading from Napster for 17 hours.
@ieatanddrink: Listen buddy, I never said they were for sale. I just put the "FRESH EGGS" sign in my yard to brag
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