@rachxthompson: me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToxicWaster: Lindsay Lohan says she can't walk down the street without men chasing her. They're drug dealers Lindsay pay your debts..
@matt___nelson: "Will he ever wake up?" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*