@rachxthompson: me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pixelatedboat: You (dumb, hasn't seen Fight Club): If I buy things I'll be happy Me (smart, has seen Fight Club): I'm going to punch someone in a basement
@GoodNaps: Welcome to Ulterior Motors where our goal is to sell you a car and definitely not anything else
@BestScienceJoke: The U.S. has more prisons than degree-granting colleges. How absurd. To fix that, we should merge some prisons and split up some colleges.