@KKBowls: Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in?
Dr.: a plastic bag
@3sunzzz: My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
@DBMaxP: Nothing says "Proper Retirement Planning" like a garbage can full of losing lottery tickets
@Phook75: It surely can't be a coincidence that Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog share the same middle name
@PanicRestroom: What's the name of that Adam Sandler's movie were he plays an immature adult?
@Cheeseboy22: Dolphin scientists say that dolphins are the smartest animal next to humans, but I think they're only saying that because they're dolphins.