@vexroid: Me: Did you play video games all day?
Me: What else did you do?
9: I ate lunch
@JimmerThatisAll: My memory is improving. The horror.
@DanMentos: "Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?"
Oh it died?
@MrEd_EVH: Me - I'm not in the mood to work today
My bank account - you better GET in the mood
@TheRachelFisher: Don't "pshhh" me, you stupid bus.
@ActualPerson084: INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR "HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"