@vexroid: Me: Did you play video games all day?
Me: What else did you do?
9: I ate lunch
@danjan13: Kindly respect my midwestern lifestyle and do not make any crude or irreverent jokes at this time.
@GrantTanaka: On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time"
@Phoebetate: I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain't got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you.
@Death_Buddy: Weighing up my bread heating options