@BerylStedman: me: *dies* mom: no get up you still have to go to school.
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@pixelatedboat: Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I'm a big fan of crucifixions?
@ericsshadow: [answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me.
@SteveKoehler22: Wait ... "El Chapo" is a Mexican drug lord .... and not the guy who's been stealing our Chapsticks for years ?