@JessiCanadian: Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don't have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness.
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@hythemafia: Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits.....
@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.
@weinerdog4life: How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them.
@TheBoydP: *mom puts teen’s clean clothes at bottom of the stairs* Mom meaning: Take up stairs, put away Teen meaning: Obstacle course on the stairs!