@maddie11_Anders: Me: Do you want dinner? BF:sure, what are my choices? Me:yes or no.
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@DaddyJew: My boss doesn't know it yet but we're in the middle of an intense game of hide and seek
@TheRobCee: [furiously trying to stir a stick of butter into a glass of milk] "Don't you wish there was an easier way?" [cut to carton of butter milk]
@CornOnTheGoblin: [Bad magician coroner] is this your husband's body [widow] no [Bad magician coroner] isss this your husband's body
@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?