@IncrediblyRich: Me. Every weekend.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I hope I die alone. I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
@1Happytwit: A really fat friend sat on her cat, long story short - now I can add search & rescue, proctologist and vet to my resume.
@TheBoydP: I may be getting old but not “doesn’t know what day of the week it is” old. I can tell by which day I open on my daily pill organizer.