@IncrediblyRich: Me. Every weekend.
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@notalogin: After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn't shut up about how he was into her before she got big.
@iwearaonesie: Anytime someone loses something in the office HR doesn't ask if anyone's seen it, they just send out an email that says "Give it back Josh"
@brookeisgolden: Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games.
@ojedge: *turns up to a yoga class in full Master Yoda costume* "Oh dear. Misread the flyer, I have."