@IncrediblyRich: Me. Every weekend.
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@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@daemonic3: My family can't decide what kind of Lab to get (Chocolate, Yellow, Black, etc.) so we drew straws. I won, so we're getting a Meth.
@RandomRamblr: She believed me when i said concentration camps were for people with Attention Deficit Disorder.
@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?