@GrandadJFreeman: Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's a hardware problem.
@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
@Home_Halfway: COP: You're allowed 1 phone call ME: I'm gonna call your mom & tell on you for arresting me COP: *nervously sweating* Why would you do that