@GrandadJFreeman: Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol
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@Leave_the_candy: i love the term “partners” are we dating? are we robbing a bank? do we run a legal firm? Who knows man
@ThaJawn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Someone is eating pineapple on pizza! 911: That's- Me: PUT THE PIZZA DOWN, KAREN! THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY!
@markleggett: I just paid $4,000 to have a skywriter write "Actually, Vanessa, YOU'RE the one who's being 'dramatic'."
@ObscureGent: I want to apologize to D.C. Comics for saying that the Lex Luther becoming president story arc could never happen in real life.