@GrandadJFreeman: Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol
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@TheHyyyype: CASHIER: what, no tip? ME: here's a tip: always wear a seat belt CASHIER: no, i meant money ME: oh sorry. invest in a 401(k)
@scorpicpanda: 5: "I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads." Me: "I'll have whatever that kid's having."
@junejuly12: As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day
@MongooseMayhem: Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute.