@Karate_Horse: Me: [getting stabbed by criminal] buddy this seems illegal
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@HavocMantis: Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me.
@Tmoney68: All my scars & bruises tell a story. The story of a guy who falls down A LOT when he's drunk.
@bridger_w: OK, Gravity wasn't very realistic. First of all, and I checked this, Sandra Bullock -- not an astronaut
@BromanConsul: My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway