@Karate_Horse: Me: [getting stabbed by criminal] buddy this seems illegal
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@PinkCamoTO: The "we're going to need a bigger boat" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store.
@Beesthegame: Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*
@iwearaonesie: wife: 9 got a ninja costume. Pretend you can't see him 9 [standing in front of the fridge] *giggles* me *hits him in the face with the door*
@MouthOfSass: Pretty sure the neighbors are impressed with the banging and screaming they heard. Little do they know it was just me chasing a spider.