@Karate_Horse: Me: [getting stabbed by criminal] buddy this seems illegal
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@4handfuls: Some call it a fashion show. I call it my kids changing their shorts 8 times a day for no reason and leaving them all over the house...
@FreudsTwin: Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills.
@SwedishCanary: When birds poop on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just so they know what I'm capable of.