@Lerky: Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests?
M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit.
@causticbob: The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
@clindsaysway: Senator Clinton, what will you do now?
Hillary: Divorce Bill.
@iGreenMonk: I hate when films say " 'MAY' contain nudity?"
Either it does or it doesn't.
DON'T WASTE MY TIME
@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
@Shock_Monster: NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon?
I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions.