@Lerky: Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests?
M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit.
@GrantTanaka: Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain
Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]
@UncleDuke1969: "It's a dog-eat-dog world."
- Hannibal Labradoodle
@sidneelyn: there's no attractive way to chase a ping pong ball
@shopkins776: Always take one positive friend & one negative friend on road trips. Then if your battery dies, you can hook cables to them & start your car
@daemonic3: *wakes up early on weekend
*makes 12 pancakes
*wakes kids up
"Daddy, can we have waffles today???"
*eats 12 pancakes