@chuuew: ME: [holding door for wife]
WIFE: Why can't we just buy an umbrella?
@slotjunkierose: Spent 10 mins trying to get into my car today...finally the door opened when the person who actually owned the car unlocked it.
@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"
@mimicz: Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black...
@ArfMeasures: GOD: *creates ant* I'm so pleased with this
ANT: You could say you're triumphANT lol
GOD: *creates anteater*