@LetMeStart: Me: I couldn't eat another thing.
Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some.
@BitchyJasmine: Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed.
@KateQFunny: Just got off 30 min phone call w a friend who has twin 2 yr olds, & even tho i havent had sex in a week I'm taking a morning after pill NOW.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: My book was translated for the UK.
Wife: They speak English.
Me: *looks at the 1000 times they changed "stroller" to "buggy"* Sort of.
@Duke1173: They ordered two extra large pizzas at work.
I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
@joe_binkley: My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing.