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@TheAlexNevil: Me: I must be out of my mind.
Me: You and me both.
@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.
@SteveSuckington: "I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink"
-guy who discovered milk
@msred1973: My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one.
@BberrySurprise: "I do not negotiate with terrorists!" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.