@audipenny: [god, creating chickens] Put a red beard on a fat hiccuping sparrow. Give him a matching hat, I don't care

@CornOnTheGoblin: [Bee diary] Day one: met a really cute queen bee Day two: queen bee is now my gf Day three: my gf cheated on me with my 40,000 roommates

@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: got any drugs on u ME: nah COP: how about the car ME: wouldn't surprise me. it's been acting funny lately

@trojansauce: DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically

@ReelQuinn: "Yes, I'm here. I really need you to be more specific. I know a lot of Margarets." -- God