@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.
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@FishySnowborder: I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry.
@the_anastasia: "Are you working right now? Where are you working?" Facebook is worse than my parents.
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work.