@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.
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@KelgoreTrout: "911 whats your emerge-" I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE THESE PANTS OFF WITHOUT TAKING OFF MY SHOES
@OuterJohn: Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I wish I had a TV camera I can look at in opportune moments GENIE: um ok ME: I wish everyone was gullible GENIE: Done ME: And I wish for updog GENIE: What's updog? ME: *looks at camera*