@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.
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@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
@chris_isloi: The reason your car won't go over 60 in the city is because you haven't yelled "HOLD ON!" yet.
@KandyKoehn: me:[opens mouth, a bunch of nickels fall out] date: me:to answer ur question i was "being quiet" so the nickels wouldnt fall out of my mouth
@LMFaye: The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.