@truegritrumble: ME: *introducing date to my parents* It's some kind of desert raisin.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
@OctopusCavemann: St. Peter: Welcome to Heaven Me: Wow! An open bar! St. Peter: You have to be dead 21 years to drink Me: *slips him a fake ID* St. Peter: Enjoy yourself Mr. Grunge Music