@ItMeIRL: me irl
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@gabeserra: My 3 yr old's idea of comedic timing is waiting till we're at least 10 minutes away from house to tell me he's not wearing any shoes.
@JDBooie: TSA training manager: "What would you do upon finding a kilo of cocaine?" ME: "A lot of cocaine."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang