@CelebrityChez: There's no law that says you can't make a tiny swimming pool in your belly button for a gummy bear pool party.

@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafé just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches.

@BillDixonish: If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.

@markleggett: I don't like it when a pretty girl with glasses takes them off, and her eyes were actually painted onto the inside of the lenses.

@TheMichaelRock: I just found my old Nokia phone from 2003. It still has 87% battery life left.