@IvoryGazelle: do singers know a song will be big beforehand? like that snow white hi-ho song, no way those lil' dudes knew, they were just mining and shit
@DaddyBeerGuy: Arguing with a woman is like being attacked by a bear...
You're better off playing dead and hoping they get bored and walk away!
@nbadag: DATE: [whispering in my ear] i've got a secret
ME: [also whispering] is it tacos
DATE: [giggles] no
ME: can it be tacos
@thepunningman: [superhero meeting]
"What's your enemy called?"
"Dr Doom. Yours?"
"Joker"
[stifles laughter]
"I HAVE OTHERS"
"Ye-"
"Penguin"
[just loses it]
@bigmacher: I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday.
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