@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming.
GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills
@BruceForce: Gravity is just the earth being really clingy
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling]
Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant
Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird
@oscarewilde: [therapists office]
my wife: i have a fear of giants
me: she has f-
marriage counsellor:
me:
my wife: don't you dare say it
me: Feefiphobia
@Savage_Scavange: I bet you 5390.24$ you can't guess how much money I owe my parents.
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