@MindyFurano: me linking you to my twitter
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@kDuncanG: I like my women like I like my bamboo: graceful, strong, and constantly in threat of being eaten by pandas.
@KrunkedRobot: Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.
@OtherDanOBrien: Dentist: You don't have to floss all your teeth. Only the ones you wanna keep! *I start flossing his teeth* D: Um... Me: These are mine now