@LOsepyan: Me? Need a Bag? Nah chill son, Ima juggle this 6 pack of beer and watermelon on my head while riding a scooter.
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@Marlebean: I broke up with my boyfriend. He was such a jerk. What a goat! -Don't you mean pig? No. He tried to eat my couch!
@david8hughes: [boxing match] Commentator: Silva is in the red shorts with green, white & yellow trim Me: the black guy. Just say Silva is the black guy
@sarcasm_inc: *approaches your table* Magic trick? *I hold out some cards with fake hands while my real hand pokes out of my shirt and steals your burger*