@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
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@mattZillaaaa: Poured Tresemmé on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent
@GoldenSpirals: Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide
@ArfMeasures: ME: I'll put a sexy movie on DATE: Good idea *presses play* D: Shrek? M: omg embarrassing D: Haha M: [fumbling with DVD] Meant to be Shrek 2