@Sanbel11: Me: NO!
Him: What? I haven't even said anything
Me: Oh, you looked like you were about to
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@Brentweets: America is 5 wars away from receiving a free one.
@Brampersandon_: *Guy is rushed in on a stretcher*
DR: what happened
EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon
DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE
@OrignalceQueen: Brain: We got this!!
Body: Yeah, no we don't
@trevso_electric: Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying.