@Sanbel11: Me: NO!
Him: What? I haven't even said anything
Me: Oh, you looked like you were about to
@BlindChow: You hang Up.
"No you hang Up."
No YOU hang Up.
"No YOU hang Up."
- couple fighting while hanging Pixar movie posters
@Cali_Kid_Mike: I just saw 125 spf sunblock. Maybe going outside isn't for everyone.
Priest: What is your name?
Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim?
Demon: Nice legs Carol
Wife: Let's keep him. Next...
@DukEB51: You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
@fakedansavage: Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate