@NicestHippo: *runs into restaurant*
IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?
"I'm a doctor"
Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor
@DPRK_News: "Halloween" is barbaric US ritual in which children earn candies by preying on the superstitions and fears of ignorant peasants.
@iwearaonesie: friend: What’s one thing marriage has taught you?
me: If you walk into the house eating a candy bar you better have one for her too
@michaeljdawson: Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
@Smooheed: Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower
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