@truegritrumble: ME: *plummeting to earth* I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD THE INTENDED UTILITY OF PARACHUTE PANTS
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ilikeyouguys: You can buy wedding cake even if there's no wedding, those suckers don't even check
@Ristolable: Sorry boss, I set my alarm for 7PM instead of 7AM and that's why I haven't been at work in six years.
@XAIMMadellynne: Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
@DurtMcHurtt: My doctor just used a tongue depressor on me so I'm going out for ice cream to cheer the little guy up.