@truegritrumble: ME: *plummeting to earth* I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD THE INTENDED UTILITY OF PARACHUTE PANTS
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@Parker_Simpson: I imagine it's pretty humbling for someone who's literally taking part in their first rodeo
@My_Higherness: Educated Twitter about to come and differentiate for us between an earthquake and tremor. We don't care...as long as there is shaking.
@PhoenixRises69: Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said "Surprise me". Hope she likes her new pet python.
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.