@kyry5: Me: *popping out of a giant cake, screaming* "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT ME IN THERE AFTER YOU BAKED IT"
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@novicefather: "Homie don't fleek doe," I say to a group of teenagers, hoping it means something.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*
@Nikkeya08: Police officer: When's your birthday? Me: (Drunk) um ok thats easy... ten dash four PO: What year? Me: Ugh duh every year
@ilovepie84: My Boss called me immature today so I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his ugly family.