@iwearaonesie: me [putting sons toy together] I don’t think *looks at instructions* *looks at box* Yeah, buddy, it’s not supposed to be on fire like that
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@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink
@jonnysun: a cool magic trick woud be if a magiciam puts their hand in a hat & sombody wearin a hat in the audience sudenly feels a hand on their head
@LMHPhotog: Ancient Man: Out of water. Let's walk 10,000 miles to a fresh continent. Modern Man: Fridge is empty. Guess I'll just die in my kitchen.