@NATxHAN: Me: Santa, why are women so scary?
Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.
@Contwixt: We all have that one friend who returns our yacht a little too clean.
@notthat_1: Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me.
@alrulz2009: If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you.
@simoncholland: I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
@jonnysun: *the force awakens*
*the dark knight rises*
*they make eye with eachother adn realize they were sleepig in the same bed*