@kivtur: Me [sneezes]: excuse me
Guy at the bus stop: [starts crying] my ex used me too, man.
@Vijaytiwari1611: Knock, Knock.
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"
@kissmeimkinky: Word of the day: exhaustipated. Too tired to give a shit.
@rolldiggity: Fun Game:
1. Glue dark sunglasses to all pigeons in a park.
2. Poke stranger on the shoulder.
3. Whisper, "I think we're being watched..."
@ODeadInside: A chicken dinner sounds like a 5th place prize at the most.
@garyfromteenmom: [during mosh]
me: excuse me, sorry, excuse me, im sorry, my fault, sorry