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@donni: ME: So what's happening today
NEWS: *incoherent screaming*
@CooIStepDad: [on a date]
"I usually don't do this but.."
*runs out on date so she has to pay*
@FancyNancyAnn: I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.
@Cheeseboy22: I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don't Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
@JukeJointJesse: My bucket list.
1. Buy bucket.
@pixelatedboat: "We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack," I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available