@chuuew: ME: [spotting Diane across the room] Diane!
ANNE: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!
@dafloydsta: ME: I think it's time I get my life in order.
MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk that night and fought a raccoon.
@Tups13: Sex? When I saw you lying naked on the bed surrounded by candles I assumed you were performing a satanic ritual. What, I'm a mindreader now?
@kelly__le: I just found out it only costs about $100 to change your name!!!
Say hello to Ninja Firequeef!
@rustygunter: If okcupid is all that great, then why would you need a 3 or 6 month subscription ?
@TheTweetOfGod: Warning: the life you are about to lead contains strong language, adult situations and nudity. Exister discretion is advised.