@Adam14: Me to 2yo: Hey bud, what are you having for breakfast? Sausage? Eggs? Hash browns? Oh... 8 forkfulls of ketchup? Good job!
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@CatherineLMK: I would make an awesome panda because I too excel at looking adorable while doing nothing.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*
@daemonic3: Everyone, meet our new baby, Lucian "Aww, what a nice name" It's her dad's, so I picked his middle name "What is it?" Theskywithdiamonds
@MartaEffing: Is it possible to divorce someone twice? Not re-marry and divorce again, but divorce twice so you're completely done. Like, extra divorced.