@Adam14: Me to 2yo: Hey bud, what are you having for breakfast? Sausage? Eggs? Hash browns? Oh... 8 forkfulls of ketchup? Good job!
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@Up2Long: Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying "I'm stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
@brendanmcginley: Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before.
@prattprattpratt: If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today.