@jaslakhmna: ME to BF: "We need to talk about the future." BF: "what about it,you wanna talk about flying cars and robots and stuff?"
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@PaperWash: wish I never spent that $20 my grandma gave me when I was 12, I could really use it right now
@papasuncle: Who names their kid Russell? Like hey kid you're a noise. Look after your sister kurplop boing
@famouscrab: some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what
@TheMichaelRock: The average family income has gone up 2% while the cost of living has increased 23%. - Me explaining to my son why he can't have a sister.