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@Audioweiner: Me: *to dog* what should I wear today bud?
@SondraDeeMe: I put my shoes on like everyone else. I beckon for my footman, Chauncey, and he does it straightaway. Your guy probably has a different name
@ThaJawn: *takes a hit off the joint
This is the best baked sale ever
"It's a BAKE sale"
Tell me about it
@deardilettante: Dating me is like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park.
@Steelers1972: There's no easy way to steal a watermelon.
@myonlymizztake: Note to self:
Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer.