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@Torgo_phylum: Me: Tonight we dine like kings!
Me: Like burger kings!
@GinRumMe: Don't go chasin' waterfalls. If a waterfall isn't staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life.
@SoVeryBritish: Trains delayed due to:
- Wrong kind of sun
- Ominous cloud
- Slightly damp leaf
- Chilly track
- Suspicious gravel
- Sarcastic swan
@patnspankme: Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you're getting fat & it doesn't fit anymore.
@dadofbieber: If one ex was drowning and the other was
dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of
ropes to save them....where would you hide it?
@That_Damn_Duck: Lovey dovey couples look best when viewed through the scope of a high powered rifle.