@BillMc7: me: *tries to help old lady cross the street*
old lady: I have a boyfriend.
@LionJenkins: you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate
@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor
@GrumpyBahr: My middle finger will be answering all questions today!
@IamEnidColeslaw: my favorite game is called "Secret Family." I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me