@BillMc7: me: *tries to help old lady cross the street*
old lady: I have a boyfriend.
@redthe1: Yeah, sure, I use made-up words sometimes. Does that make you
@TwinSurvivalist: After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them.
@TheMainlandBlog: Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table.
@HisDulcinea: *Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*
@AaronNevins: You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.